i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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