tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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