This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
