I'll bet she douches with gravy.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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