haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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