well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
