Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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