Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
