We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
