Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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