dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
