My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
