I just saw a hot homeless man
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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