so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
