And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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