If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
