Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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