just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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