He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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