he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
so let's talk penis.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
