her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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