"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
