thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
