i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
