I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
