How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
