They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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