i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
