Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize