Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
