Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
