I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
