Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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