Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
