My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
