my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
