dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
