So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
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