I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
