check it out our google latitudes are spooning
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
