butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize