Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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