I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
3 2 1 whiskey
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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