Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
