its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
