so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My pussy is not your playground.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
