There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
