I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
