You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
