I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just invented taco cereal.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
