How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
