East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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