Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
