You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
