for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
