whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
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