You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
