I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
