I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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