If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
