lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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